I am that I am

I’ve been having dreams again. Well I always have dreams, but I’ve been having particular dreams again.

Lately, I am being accosted by all sorts of beings in my dreams. They are in fact really starting to annoy me with the crap. Obviously, they have something important to tell me, but I mean damn, do they REALLY have to beat me over the head with it. I’ve had to take to using “my words” on them again. Controlling them with “my words” seems to be about the only thing that will work. I’m pretty decent at lucid dreaming, but these “people” just don’t want to play along unless I make them.

Besides the aggressive nature of my would-be messengers is the fact they don’t seem to be able to come right out and say anything. Whatever messages they might have are totally wrapped up in a riddle of some sort.

So I sit each morning in front of my computer at work and try to decipher them…it’s not like I have anything else to do.

After much thought and deliberation, I have come to one clear conclusion.

They are trying to tell me to get my head out of my ass.

I want to be pagan. Hell I am pagan. I really always have been. I know it. The cosmos knows it. Apparently, many many beings know it. So why the heck am I fighting it!? Well, that I’m still unsure of. It’s likely a tinge of Christian programming which still makes me feel slightly guilty about the whole thing. But you know what…I am what I am. If what I am is pagan, then so be it. It’s not like the Christian god wants to talk to me anymore anyway. All we’ve ever done is argue. And hey…if he ever wants to make up…he knows where to find me. Right?

So from here on out, I am pagan. Hopefully it doesn’t put my grand-parents in the grave, but I refuse to continue to deny myself simple because others may not like it.

Chris: “Hello. Hi. My name is Chris and I’m a pagan.”
Chorus of the Cosmos: “Welcome Chris.”
Chris: “So umm…where are the refreshments? I was told there’d be refreshments.”