Pagan Manners in Christian Church

I am a member of Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship (ADF). One of the great benefits of being part of an organizatoin like ADF are the group’s mailing lists. ADF has many great lists. I am currently subscribed to 10 of them. That’s probaby like five too many because I can never really keep up with it all. However, the information and participation I do get from them is a huge help to me day to day.

One recent descussion we’ve been having on one of the lists, is how to approch the attendance of Christian churches during the holidays. It’s inevitable that most of us will be invited by some well meaning, or sinisterly diabolical, family member. Since most of us want to TRY to be part of the family, even if they don’t always want to claim us, it’s nice to have some idea how to act. The following eMail from ADF member “Bren” seems very helpful in that area, so he gave permission to republish. Enjoy!

With the holiday season upon us, a reoccurring question for me is now at the forefront: how exactly should a neo-pagan such as myself behave when going to a Christian church? To me, this is a time to be with family and participate to the extent possible in family activities, and that often includes going to some kind of church service at some point or another.

I’ve always tried to be polite and respectful. There are some clear and easy rules based on that respect that boil down to: don’t make a scene. But there are some points which I have been ambivalent about, and have handled in different ways in the past. For example, how should one behave during congregational parts such as reciting Creeds out loud or singing hymns?

After some dialogue I recently had with the fine folks at “Oh How I Love Jesus” on this topic, I came up with the following guidelines based on my hard-polytheistic world-view:
* A church is the “House of God,” therefore, rules of basic hospitality apply. We should be respectful then, not only of our family and members of the congregation, but of the deities involved: Jesus and Yaweh (and possibly others: The Holy Spirit, Mary, various saints, etc.)
* We should dress appropriately, in “Sunday Best” or whatever mode of dress is expected.
* No overt pagan symbols. I would go so far as to say that we should not even bring any pagan symbology or tools. If, for some reason, you have to have something with you, I suggest it be “peace-bonded.” That is, it should be tied up or encumbered in such a way as to be clear that it cannot be easily accessed, and also stored out of sight so as not to invite questions. When we are in the home of Christian deities, it is in a spirit of “truce” and at least temporary peace no matter what our feelings may be, and we should bend to their preferences to the extent it is reasonable and possible to do so.
* We should not participate in communion. Receiving the blessings of their god should be left to his followers.
* We should generally speak only truthful words. Any kind of participatory speaking should be limited to saying things you actually believe in. A respectful silence should be maintained at other times.
* We should not discuss our beliefs or mention other gods. It is clear that theirs is a jealous God, and would not want such discussion in His home.
* We should give money when an offering plate is passed. As guests, especially somewhat unwelcome ones, hospitality requires that we bring a gift for our host. The congregation might not want offerings from Pagans, but it is none of their business. Since we shouldn’t discuss this matter, they have no reason to even know. Offerings are made to the God(s), and concerns a matter between him/them and us alone.
* We should not make prayers to our deities, not even silently.
Presumably, if our gods can hear our silent, unspoken prayers, then of course He can too, and it would be rude. We should wait until we are on our own ground and our own time to revere our gods.
* We should sit or stand with the congregation as they do. With a congregation that kneels, I would suggest remaining seated. Kneeling is more than respect, it is a sign of obeisance, which would be inappropriate.
Bowing is not inappropriate, and so I feel bowing our heads during their prayers as requested is properly respectful.
* I have been to churches where it is routine for them to ask rudely personal questions such as: ‘do you have Jesus in your heart?’ I admit, I have always lied and said, ‘yes.’ Since this is an intimately private matter, I believe it is permissible to lie to protect my privacy. Any answer, as long as it is polite, would be appropriate, but in a congregation that would ask such a question, a truthful answer is just inviting trouble.

I invite comments on this article, as this is an issue I continue to struggle with ­ this list being just a snapshot of where I am with it right now. I might amend this list as new thoughts and ways of looking at the issue are presented to me.