I know everything I know

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Dreams - The Snake Dancers

In house (unknown) with people (unknown).

“Lady” gets call on cell. She is told, “They are coming in, so she might was well let them in, otherwise they will just break in. She lets them in.

Group of painted up people come dancing and parading through the door. They go right past us through a door to the basement.

In the basement, they dance around a circle. One of them goes to the middle. He is on a stake. They toss something on him and he burst into flames. His belly appears to be melting, or swelling. Pregnant?

We are all suddenly back upstairs in the original room.

Can’t remember what happens for a short time.

Eventually the intruders all parade back out the door to the outside. We are all relieved they have left.

I go to the door and lock it, but something strikes my hand through the door. Suddenly the line of people flash back and forth between their human forms and a single huge horned serpent colored as they had been painted.

I wake up. Scared. Still feel a pain in my hand as if I had been bit or stung by something. I think something must have bit me while I was asleep but look at my hand and find no marks.

I realize I’m not totally awake. I’m still seeing the images of the intruders flashed between human and serpent form. I’m told…hear…sense…that I’ve been “marked” by “the beast”. I was apparently marked because I tried to lock the door.

I began visualizing white, bright, positive thought forms, in the hope of driving the intruders from my mind. As I do, the symbolic images of the intruders in both their human and serpent forms began to change to a new set of white symbols. They continue to fight me. The images in my mind…in front of my sleeping eyes…alternate back and forth between the white symbols and those of the original human/serpent intruders. This continues until I finally wake up.

As a wake I hear a noise on the other side of the room. It sounds like someone is near the bedroom door. I look but see nothing. Still I feel it there. Then I realize that the sound I heard was Ashley making a grunting sound in her sleep…apparently dreaming.

Still scared, I fall back to sleep.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Sweet Longing Smile

Written around three years ago during the long night after I returned home from the first real date with my fiance’, this is one of my favorite poems.

Sweet longing smile
Hearts melting afar

The question
The answer
Hearts springing with joy

Walking
Clasped hands
Trembling spared

Hopes and cares
Longing to share

Warm lips caress
Only a glimpse

They say goodnight
Their hearts say hello

Today...

Today is my birthday.

Today I start a new job.

Today I get my new digital camera from Ashley.

I was born 32 years ago today. That’s way too damn long ago. Not remembering much of anything before the age of 19 always leaves me feeling I’m a lot younger than I actually am.

I start working at the Urban Outfitters Call Center and Distribution Center outside of town here today. The company’s IT Director basically begged me on Friday to come to work for them. I have to admit, having someone beg me to work for them, after only a five minute conversation, doesn’t leave me feeling too confident about them. Doesn’t really leave me feeling too confident about the company for that matter. I’ll give it a try though. What’s the worse that could happen?

I get my camera from Ashley today. Nice new Canon PowerShot A510. It’s a model year old, but it does everything I really want…and we can afford it. :) She didn’t think she was going to be able to buy it for me after our little mix-up with the cellphone charges during my trip to Washington. I’m glad she was though because the look on her face when she thought she wouldn’t be able to…it was so pitiful. Luckily the money has been rolling in lately.

Today is July 12th, 2005. Today is a good day.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

The Misty. Spirtual Protector. Eater of Bugs.

Misty, is the official spiritual protector and bug eater of our little home.

She has the night shift from around 1am until sunrise. Ever vigilant, she sleeps just outside our bedroom door in her sleep-cube. Misty keeps nearly all of the nighttime visitors from interrupting our sleep or invading our dreamspace. Sure she misses the occasional disembodied shadow, but overall, we couldn’t ask for more.

Now I admit I’m not a cat person, so I don’t know normal feline behavior from that of the three-toed sloth, but our little protector here has some strangely unusual habits.

Misty, or Kitty as she is more commonly referred to, is the first and only cat I’ve ever seen play fetch. Toss one of her toys across the room…she’ll stalk it down, attack it and bring it back for another round. That’s playing fetch in my book.

Kitty also has what I consider the uncanny ability to play toss by herself. She rolls one of her play rings up on her paw, slings her paw tossing the thing high into the air, then jumps up and catches or bats it from the air before it has a chance to hit the ground. Is that normal?

We’ve also seen her try (I kid you not) turning door knobs to open closed doors. She tries her best to use the strings on the windows shades to open them up higher if the current opening isn’t to her liking…which is often.

This is all aside from her extensive vocabulary with very distinct vocalizations for very specific circumstances. She needs water or food…it’s a long low monotone word. Annoy her and it’s a short low meow. Forget to open the window shade for her and she’ll give you a high-pitched, “Open!” Tell her to get out of a room she isn’t supposed to be in and she backs up to a sitting position just outside the doorway, while letting you know, “mew mew mew meow!” Tell her she can’t get on the couch while you’re eating and she waits patiently (most of the time) until you’re done, then asks in a high pitched questioning tone, “Maw?” I swear she speaks.

She just does many very odd things in my book for a cat, which of course is good, because I don’t really like cats.

Friday, July 01, 2005

It’s not a tree…it’s an idea.

It’s not a tree…it’s an idea.

A quote about druidism: "Druidry is not a religion. It’s a philosophy and you can worship a God or a Goddess, it’s up to you. You can be a Christian or a Moslem or anything else and still be a Druid. "But while a Christian will say God made that tree, a Druid will say the energy of a creative force is in that tree." Kieron, a North-East UK Druid.

Druidism is about as close to my personal philosophy as anything I’ve seen. That being the case, I’ve dedicated much of my free time toward the study of druidism as both a philosophy and potential religion.

My personal focus is on Druidry that follows a Celtic path. My ancestral origins are about equal Celtic and Native American, but I lean toward my Celtic heritage simply because it is more accessible.

Through such organizations as Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship, or ADF, I’ve begun in the last few months to explore the Indo-European origins of the Celtic way and wisdom of this ancient people.

I’m currently reading:

  • The Druids by Peter Berresford Ellis
  • The Wisdom of The Celts by Patricia King
  • Irish Fairy and Folktales by W.B. Yeats
  • Complete Idiot’s Guide to: Celtic Wisdom by Carl McColman

I’ll be writing more on my studies and journey…hopefully at least once a week. In the mean time, if you’d like more information on druidism in general, please check out it’s entry at Religious Tolerance.org.

…or, just ask the funny looking guy in your local city park rubbing two rocks together, while sharing tea and conversation with his bestest buddy…Mr. Oak. ;)

Thursday, June 30, 2005

"I forgot to put on deodorant."

I was recently downsized from my latest contract.

Not to fear, Ive already got another one lined up. But

Being unemployed brought back memories of the first time I found myself in this situation. I had been on a contract for three years supporting WorldCom. Then WorldCom decided to go bankrupt in the largest bankruptcy scandal to datetaking my little job with it. My friend Candy messaged me to see how I was doing. It was several year ago now, but the answer remains pretty much the same

candybj (12:17:32 PM): So, how is unemployment treating you?

monkeybrains803 (12:18:57 PM): You knowI COULD be damned intelligent. Sometimes I think I just might beIm just smart enough to grasp it. damned monkey brain!

monkeybrains803 (12:19:22 PM): Make that NOT smart enough to grasp itand so the damning of the monkey brain that limits me.

Call me wrong!? Call me crazed!? Do it all! As you likebut Ill still :p to you allyou cursed monkey brains!

monkeybrains803 (12:23:31 PM): You knowtalk like this is how I got a 1460 on my SATs. Im only a marginal genius. or a genius yet released! :)

Why am I out of place there? Why do I not fit here? Why do I not know where I belong?

monkeybrains803 (12:39:39 PM): To all that and moreMONKEY BRAINS!

monkeybrains803 (12:39:46 PM): I just dont know.

monkeybrains803 (12:40:20 PM): How can one truly know oneselfwhen by the very act of knowing a thing changes it?

monkeybrains803 (12:41:55 PM): The more I know..the more I realize I never thought to askand so the questions fill my headfill it until it hurts.pounding with questions conceived but less understoodoh we poor soulswe poor prisoners of our Monkey Brains!

monkeybrains803 (12:42:36 PM): DamnI forgot to put on deodorant.

monkeybrains803(12:42:39 PM): LOL :D

monkeybrains803 (12:43:17 PM): yupthere you go.

monkeybrains803(12:43:30 PM): Question: "How is unemployment treating you?"

monkeybrains803 (12:43:54 PM): Answer: "I forgot to put on deodorant."

candybj (12:45:18 PM): you have a strange way of looking at things

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

I am Adam! Hear me Waste.

Purgatory of indecision, self-pity, confusion.

Im the tide mastered by the lunar cycles of life.

Im Adamdestined to a life of bliss and happiness in a garden of eden, but banished to a hell of knowing indecision by a single taste of the fruit of knowledgetempted and destiny destroyed by an evil silver tongued serpent known as life.

Its not what we DIDits what we DONT DO in this life that leads to the true hell. A wasted life!

Epiphany! Blessed Epiphany!

-sigh-

I think Im gonna go see a movie.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Zonkers! Zowie!!!

Halloween 2004! Zowie!! Ash, Ali and I as Thelma, Daphne and Shaggy.

Several hours past midnight and WAY past our drink limitwe may have been in the running for Scooby-Doo 2.

Unfortunately, I couldnt keep my pants on and I fell outta character before the video cameras rolled. No reallythe costume pants were too big for me. Innocent

Brent, Alis husband was in Basic at the time, so it was just the three of us and two of our neighbors from the next townhouse over. Luckily our neighbors didnt want picturesso we got to be camera whores all night! Regardless of what Ash may saywere always up for hogging a camera lens. Cool

Strangely enoughwe never had a single trick-or-treater.

Happy Halloween!!